Awesome song!

I'm guessing this is done though a computer or sped up. If it's you playing this incredibly on time then your amazing! Anyway, more is not always better. Even if this is you playing the way it's made just sounds like you sat on the computer with a mouse which is true for most but you don't want that coming out in your music LOL I have been down this path, and I was like "I spent ages working on this how come no one likes it" and it's because it sounds a bit fake when it comes out on the comp to be brutal. Anyway the piece itself is amazing you just need to work on making it sound more playable. (Less fast sticcatto type notes of the same key will help!). BUT! if you can't be bothered then just put bit effects on it and no one will care...

Is good but sounds unfinished...

It's too "Raw" and I don't usually say that. The background needs work, such as a proper bass line or at least a kick which different keys, otherwise you need better background. There is too much treble in the voice which will stop people from turning it up which is the idea with this stuff I'm guessing.

Anyway. Don't hate me. Just think about what I said. If you work on the areas I stated in the right way it will make the song much better I promise you. (But you don't have to over do it!) Good Luck :)

Good Idea

I can see, what your tryng to do man. Not great but the idea is great you just need to layer it more. Just keep working on it and adding stuff to it to make it more full. I would as a start add a phaser or a filter to the drum kit for something like this. Anyway. It's a really good idea like for a game or something just keep adding.